


Machete

by mesoquatic



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Almost violence, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Self Image Issues, Some angst, Soulmate AU, cursing, very gay, vitiligo, vitiligo!Michael Mell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 01:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mesoquatic/pseuds/mesoquatic
Summary: Michael's self consiousness has seeped into everything that he does, leading him to think that everything is a trap. Especially after running out on a first date with his soulmate.





	Machete

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to smol boi mcqueen

Michael had fucked up. No, that was an understatement. He ruined his whole life in the matter of one weekend. First, he goes on his first date with his soulmate, a guy who really didn’t deserve him, a guy who didn’t care about what his skin was like. But, he had to get insecure because they were in the middle of a McDonald's at the mall and people were staring. To make it even better, he ran out without explaining anything. Then, his moms decide that homeschooling isn’t the best thing for him anymore and decided that a public school was better. The real reason was that the two of them found each other and dropped out of high school together. They just ran out of things they remember to be able to teach him.

So, now he was sitting in the office of his new high school, as an incoming Junior, and waiting for someone to be able to help him. His moms had, luckily, let him leave the house with makeup on but he wasn’t sure how long it would last. He packed some of the foundation in his backpack just in case. His hair still wasn’t turning white yet, or what there was of it was hideable by product. His arms felt bare, without the typical doodles from Jeremy, his soulmate, or his own. The occasional sorry from Jeremy’s side would come up but Michael could barely let himself look at it. But, the worse thing? He knew Jeremy went to this school.

The receptionist had given him a look of pity when he walked in this morning. Compared to her skin, he was a model in one of those anti-soulmate commercials. Her skin was almost coated with different, vibrant colors. He was surprised it was even allowed as professional attire. But, what did he know? He was new to everything that was going on. He was going from having his moms teaching him stuff to six teachers like the television shows. Again, something, like his skin, he would have to lie about.

Since his moms dropped out before graduating, neither of them have good jobs. They barely have enough to keep their apartment. He feels bad when one of their entire paychecks goes to getting his ink to talk to Jeremy. They didn’t have cable. The only computer they had was a shitty, old laptop. They stole off of their neighbors internet. His phone matched his mother's phones, flip phones from Walmart.

Michael wouldn’t be surprised if he looked like he was a poor kid. He’s had the same hoodie since he was considered a fifth grader. His jeans were always a little awkward, baggy and tight at the same time. He blames Goodwill’s bad sizing system. His shirts were always big, either from one of his mothers, their friends, or just big with the mindset that he would grow into them. Most of his shirts had holes from jungle gym when he was young. His shirts finally fit from his late primary school ages.

But, even with all of that, here he was, in an office at a public high school. Not any old public school. No, it had to be the one Jeremy went to. It just happened to be the closest one, and the cheapest that’s the true reason he’s here instead of some other school. Knowing his lucky and how fate had put them near each other, he was going to have to deal with the elephant in the room eventually. That being, the situation with Jeremy. Ever since Friday, he hasn’t wrote a word to Jeremy. But his arms were clear except for the most recent sorry message from Jeremy hidden under his sleeve.

He was grateful when his counselor came out with all of his stuff. The first class of the day was underway, making his appearance there more noticeable. He’d be interrupting class when he got there. Sadly, the counselor seemed bored more than anything, not giving him a decent tour or anything. She left him at his first class’ door and headed back down to the office.

Michael hesitated before opening the door. The teacher stopped what she was doing and walked straight to him, a questioning look on her face. She was your stereotypical English teacher, kind of like that actor from the Percy Jackson movie. The one who played Mrs. Dodds, or the imposter. Michael was a little salty about how the writers of that movie somehow thought she was an English teacher. She is clearly was a Pre-Algebra teacher. It’s in the first chapter title for god’s sake.

She eventually introduced herself. Within a second of hearing it, he couldn’t remember her name. She let him in and let him choose his own seat. By choose, it was ‘sit in the only open seat before I yell.’

But, yet again, fate had other plans. His deskmate moved their notebook over slightly so Michael noticed. He looked over the page, seeing the notes from before he came. They were short, probably because they were only ten minutes into class.

“You haven’t missed much. It’s only October.” The boy whispered cautiously. Michael recognized that voice and how every time he heard it, it sent shivers down his spine. He stopped, his notebook in hand and glanced over. Jeremy sat there, obviously in some degree of afraid and scared. “But if you need more notes. I have them.”

Michael looked away, panicking a little. Of course it had to be Jeremy. Of course it had to be him out of all people because that’s how fate works and it doesn’t work any other way. And you did not dare mess with destiny of all things.

He continued to unpack his stuff, trying to ignore Jeremy the best he could. He started on the notes, glancing over to Jeremy’s for reference. Ignoring was another new thing on Michael’s list of experience. It didn’t exist until he started after their date on Friday. It was Monday. It didn’t even work for three days.

“I’m sorry if I did anything to scare you.” Jeremy whispered, scribbling down notes. “But, I’m glad to see you.”

“Why would you be glad?” Michael mumbled quietly, internally cursing at himself afterwards.

“Why not? Why wouldn’t I-” he paused, clearly already used to this teacher’s talking patterns. “I be? I thought you died or something.”

Michael inhaled deeply, not sure what else to say but his mouth was on autopilot. “I wasn’t who you thought I was. Let’s leave it at that.”

Jeremy stayed silent for a few moments before speaking up again. “I don’t care about the whole skin thing. I told you this.”

“Well, I’m not.”

He shushed Michael before continuing. It felt a little awkward talking to Michael face to face. “Then we can ignore it.”

“We can’t-”

Jeremy shushed him again. The two of them got a glare from the teacher to pay attention.

“We can’t just ignore it.”

“I haven’t noticed this whole time we have been talking.” Michael inhaled sharply making alarms go off in Jeremy’s head. Fuck, he said something wrong.

Michael didn’t say anything more, going back to trying to pay attention. The only reason Jeremy didn’t see anything was because of his makeup. And right now, he was nervous. Nervous would lead to sweating and sweating would lead to a mess of gay feelings, knowing better, wanting to smoke something, and dripping foundation. Or smeared. Whichever happened first.

Class ended and Michael jumped in his seat from the sound of the bell. Everyone was already leaving, having seen the end coming. He started to pack up, not even noticing that Jeremy was staying behind for him.

“D-Do-” Jeremy stopped, looking over him again. “Do you want help getting to your next class?” He smiled softly, his fear barely hidden from Michael.

Michael shook his head, feeling a little bit of guilt growing in his stomach. “I think I’ll be able to figure it out.” He rushed off before much more could be said.

The warning bell rang and he cursed at himself. Do they have a rule for new students that they don’t get to be late? Well, not too late but late? The new student didn’t know where the classroom was so it took them a bit longer to get there, type of late? Michael sure hoped so because it took him until the bell rang to figure out that the first number in the room number was the floor it was on.

When he finally made it, he was exhausted. He had to haul ass from the first floor to the third and then had to find the science classrooms that were all clustered together. Biology, great. He was never good at science, or to say he never liked science. His moms were terrible at it which, indirectly or directly, meant he was too.

That also meant that the teacher thought he knew nothing in the subject. He was one of those people who were completely against homeschooling. By how he walked and spoke, he was probably against the whole public school thing, too. How he sounded so pristine and uptight in New Jersey? Michael didn’t know.

It was uneventful except for the usual question about how bad or good homeschooling was. Lunch, on the other hand, was a problem on its own. Michael had brought his own lunch, not having enough courage to step near the cafeteria let alone the lunch line. So, his solution was to hide in the bathroom.

The best thing about the whole hiding in the bathroom idea was that he would be able to apply his foundation again. He took his makeup out of his backpack and set it down against the wall. He took out a wipe and checked the stalls and door out before starting to wipe at his face. He cringed as the spots revealed.

Some days he wished he could wipe the spots away like they were makeup. Like he was just playing some character in a show or theatre production. But no, his life wasn’t like that. It was real and so was his skin. There was no avoiding it.

There were also those days where he looked in the mirror and just pointed out every single patch, new and old. It was that kind of day. Seeing them only made him want to cry. They were the cause of why Michael would never be loved by Jeremy.

Last time he had one of these days, he punched the only mirror in their house. Right now, they lived in one of those trailer houses on the outskirts of town. His neighbors never looked at him strange. He guessed that all of them had seen enough weird to have been living in a trailer park. They weren’t even fazed by his two moms. Except one family. He wasn’t sure what they were on about.

Michael didn’t realize how long he had just been standing there, staring at himself, until someone else came in. He panicked, hiding the stuff he had out and pulling his hood over his face. The other person, a boy? Maybe younger? He was maybe a foot or more shorter than Michael so he wasn’t even sure if the other was supposed to be in a high school of all places.

“Why are you all fidgety?” The other spoke over his shoulder, the sound of him peeing filling both of their ears. “Wait, you’re the kid who used to be homeschooled, aren’t you?”

Michael tensed up, avoiding any possible way the guy could see his face. News spread fast and it was only lunch. He wasn’t sure if he could handle this. It felt threatening, like it wasn’t a good thing to have been homeschooled. Not many people approved but if people started to realize why he was, then they’d want to send him back.

He tensed up even more, feeling a slightly small hand on his shoulder. “You okay?” It was wet, making him wonder if it was water or pee. “You seem out of it.”

“I’m fine.” He started to get up but suddenly remembered the mirrors. He immediately ducked down again and bit his lip, fumbling with the zipper of his backpack.

“You don’t seem fine.” The hand grabbed his arm. At this point, it was only pee if he peed directly onto his own hand which didn’t seem logical. But then again, he didn’t really know the tropes of a public school, yet. “Bad first day?”

“Y-Yeah.” Michael attempted to walk casually towards the door but was stopped by the other kid. They stared at each other for a few seconds before the other smiled, holding out his hand.

“The name’s Rich.” Michael looked down at his hand, a little confused. Rich had seen him but didn’t seem fazed at all. The more he studied the smaller one, the more he realized that he was covered in what looked to be burn marks or scars. They stood out against his skin but he didn’t seem to care.

Rich waved his hand around, still waiting for Michael to shake it. He held out his hand a little and the other gladly took it, shaking it gleefully.

“What’s your name?”

Michael tensed up again, suddenly remembering that they were in a bathroom together. Alone but Michael’s face was bare of anything except splotches of white and his acne. The acne was the side effect of makeup. If you bought it to hide your acne, you just buy more and more until you’re broke. It’s a money pit.

“Hello?” Rich waved his hand in front of Michael’s face, snapping him out of thought.

“O-Oh, uh-” He hid his face in his jacket and tried to move past the other.

“Hey, you’re hiding your face. You don’t have to do that.” He stopped Michael, slowly pulling his jacket down. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your skin. Vitiligo, right?” Michael tensed up even more, if possible. His walls were being built even higher than before.

He panicked, leaving him stuck in a stall and avoiding his ears attempts to listen to the words Rich was speaking. He took out his makeup, hastily applying foundation. He didn’t have a phone to use for a mirror. His flip phone barely even worked. He resorted to using the mirror in the powder, making a small mess in the process.

“Are-Are you applying makeup?”

Michael froze for a second, hearing Rich’s question loud and clear.

“You don’t have to wear makeup. So what that you look different? Barely anyone notices if you look different unless you’re so angsty and emo about it.”

He wasn’t sure how to react. Sure, they were words and questions Rich probably expects him to answer. But they were also talking about a truth he didn’t want to believe until he knew for himself. Jeremy didn’t care. No, he did only because Michael made such a big deal about it.

“It takes time.” Rich spoke up again. “To realize these things and I know you won’t take my word for it because we’re just two strangers talking in the men's room in some shit high school. But, know that it’s okay to feel ashamed some days but it doesn’t have to impact every single part of you.”

He waited outside the stall for a few seconds before walking away. Michael sighed in relief, staying on the ground. He finished up his makeup and slowly ate his lunch. Peanut butter and jelly, his favorite? He wasn’t sure if he could say that on day one.

Michael was entirely glad to know he only had two classes with Jeremy. At the same time, he hated knowing that he would only be able to see Jeremy for two hours of the whole school day. He could have lunch with Jeremy but he still wasn’t sure how long it would take for him to even approach the cafetorium. It might never happen.

The best thing about their classes together? It was the first and last class of the day. First, tired from waking up. Then, tired because of dealing with people all day. How did the majority of people deal with this for days into weeks into years? College would have hit him hard if was able to attend.

Maybe, Jeremy and him would go together somehow. Or Jeremy would have enough and they stayed together. Michael wouldn’t be able to live in the dorms but he would work his butt off to save up for college. And, just maybe, eventually he would be able to afford it and have Jeremy come home to it.

Home. That’s what he really wanted. Not the one that moved every six months or so. No, his home was in one place. Where that place was? He had no idea and he probably wouldn’t know for years. Maybe not until after he passes away, either by sickness or overworked bones.

Michael wished that Friday never happened. Where in a world, Jeremy still loved him unconditionally like all the fairy tale stories you hear about soulmates. Never did you hear about this kind of story without sorrow and grief. Like those who think they don’t have a soulmate because their other half can’t afford the ink. Or those who desperately love the idea and end up with one of the advocates against the whole idea.

Now, add the guy who deserved the world and more stuck with an insecure kid who can’t even pay for his own stuff without having to borrow money and do weird jobs for his neighbors that are equally strange. Michael and Jeremy wouldn’t have that happy ending that everyone else got. They were just another scrapped relationship.

They didn’t talk the next day. Sitting next to each other with the silence was deafening to Michael. The tension was so thick you could try and cut the air and it would stop, struggling back against you. Unknowingly to Michael, Jeremy was really sad about the whole situation. He wanted to speak up but couldn’t find the words.

They both thought the other hated them when really they’re just two pining idiots.

That night, Michael had saved enough money up from his jobs to be able to buy more makeup. He took a shower at the local campground, having to dumpster dive for some old clothes or rags, he really didn’t know, for his neighbor. She claimed to be needing it for some spell. Michael, being Michael and living where he did, didn’t question it one bit when ten dollars was involved.

But here he was, ten at night, walking into a Walgreens. Not any old Walgreens, but the poor people’s Walgreens. Where sometimes, if you know the cashier, they’ll let you get some stuff for free because they understood. Michael never got that help, seeing that he didn’t have any inside connections. Either that or they could tell where he was from and thought the park was the closest you could get to being homeless without being homeless.

He stood, paper in hand with his color labels for foundation and powder written down. The cashier was eyeing him in sympathy. He wasn’t wearing any of his product. His powder was desperately in need of replacement after he made a mess of the bathroom yesterday. He had his old hoodie raised over his head, the hood threatening to fall off the threads any day now.

His dilemma, which has kept him in front of the giant wall of brightly colored packages and shades, was that they were out of his specific shade. His shade, being darker than your typical beauty guru, was a hard one to find. On top of that, he had to find one that had enough coverage to cover his spots. The only drug store one that works is the one he uses. That single bottle just happened to be out of stock. It was probably his fault.

There was a tap on his shoulder and he panicked, moving out of the way. He looked over, his face going pale when he saw Jeremy there. Why was Jeremy here? He probably panicked too much before getting that answer.

“Hey.” Jeremy spoke softly, his fear that he scared Michael obvious on his face. He smiled a little, the fear only growing as neither of them spoke. “Did-Did I scare you?”

Michael nodded.

“Oh, sorry.” He looked back to the wall of makeup. “Did one of your moms need something? Are you just looking?”

Michael held up his list. Jeremy already hated him so why not start to be a little honest with him. “For myself.”

Jeremy’s eyes went a little wide. “Why?”

Michael looked back to the shelf, skimming over the various tubes of liquid foundation. He was hoping that they had his color hidden somewhere, mixed in with another color. “I need it to cover my face.” He squatted down, prompted Jeremy to do so with him. “For school.”

“I-Why do you hide it?” Jeremy looked over the paper and started to help Michael look. “I don’t really see the point.”

“Do you want me to have a repeat of Friday? I already embarrassed you enough, there.” Michael bit his lip, losing his balance and almost falling over. Jeremy caught him, giggling a little. God, that laugh. Michael would kill to hear that laugh again.

“I’m sure you can do better than drugstore if you really want to hide it.” Jeremy smiled, watching him to make sure he didn’t fall over again. He furrowed his eyebrows, noticing something about Michael. “How do you squat like that?”

Michael glanced over, a little confused at first. His expression softened. “Are you going to make fun of my Asian squatting?”

“There’s different types of squatting?” Jeremy smiled a little before speaking up again. “Wait, Asian squatting?”

“Yeah! Like, Asians squat with their feet planted.” Michael motioned down to his feet and compared it to Jeremy’s. “Everyone else does it on the tip of their toes.”

“Really?” Jeremy giggled a little, noticing the difference more now that it had been pointed out for him. “Oh my god-”

Michael giggled a little, making Jeremy giggle again. The cashier gave them a weird look before going back to playing on her phone. Now that Michael was looking at Jeremy, he noticed how good he looked in what he was wearing. He definitely looked too well dressed to be from this neighborhood. He was suddenly worried about his safety.

“Beside the point,” Jeremy looked through the bottles again. “I don’t think they have the one you want.”

Michael sighed, slowly getting up. “Guess I’m stuck with powder until it comes in.”

“Or,” Jeremy spoke carefully. “I can maybe drive you to another Walgreens or somewhere to find it?”

The other stayed quiet for a second before realizing something. “What are you doing on this side of town?”

Jeremy got up and bit his lip. “I needed away from my dad and that world. Y’know, lawyer, rich things.” He explained, not even knowing about Michael’s own financial state.

“So you came to a Walgreens on the edge of town?”

“Yeah, sums it up.” He stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. “Wasn’t expecting to see you here, though.”

Michael smiled and nodded, picking out the powder he needed. “Yeah.”

“Do you live around here?” Jeremy asked cautiously. Michael wasn’t looking but he could feel Jeremy’s eyes start to notice how bad of a shape his clothes were in.

“Nah, just the closest Walgreens.” He smiled nervously. Out of everything, that was the last thing he wanted Jeremy to know about.

Jeremy nodded, looking around a little. “Well, I will gladly drive you to the next closest Walgreens and buy you that foundation.”

“Ah, no.” Michael refused, moving towards the register. “I can’t take your money.”

“You wouldn’t be taking my money, you would be taking the foundation I would have bought.” He smiled, taking the powder from Michael’s hands. “Just like I will do for this.”

“Jeremy, I can pay for my own things.” Michael insisted, grabbing for the item. Jeremy pulled it away from Michael.

“I’m going to pay for it.”

Michael took a deep breath. “Then, I will pay you back.” He pulled out his wallet as they got to the cash register but Jeremy put it back in his pocket.

“Keep your money, Mikey.” Michael’s heart swelled when Jeremy used a nickname. What made it better, or worse Michael couldn’t tell which yet, was how Jeremy smiled as he spoke. It distracted him until he realized that Jeremy was handing him the bag with the powder inside. “A gift from me to you.”

Michael giggled, feeling his face heat up. He took it and reached for his pocket with his wallet again. The other boy stopped him.

“I already told you, I don’t want your money.” Jeremy smiled a little more. “I’d rather you be happy.”

“Fine.” Michael gave in before insisting again as they were leaving. “But, I’m still buying my own foundation when we find it.”

Jeremy put his hands up and giggled. “I’ve completed my quest.”

Michael snorted. “Your quest? What are you? A nerd?”

“Hell yeah!” He stopped at his car and smiled a little wider. “I prefer geek but I guess I can let it slide and let you call me nerd.”

“Hey!”

The fun got ruined when a guy approached them. Michael had sure as hell noticed him around these parts. He used to live in the same area before moving to the trailer park. He didn’t have the best reputation.

Michael stepped between them a little to separate the two. This was exactly what he was afraid of. Some guy coming after Jeremy, smelling or sensing the money. He really wished that they could have done this at an earlier time. But, if he wasn’t here, Jeremy would have been scared. So maybe it was the best that Michael was here to protect him. By protecting, he meant knowing when to run.

“What’s a little rich boy doing in these parts?” He smiled, making Michael more uneasy. He stepped more in front of Jeremy, pissing the guy off. “Hey, I’m just up for a friendly chat about charity to the poor.”

“C-”

Michael cut Jeremy off before he could say anything. “We aren’t a charity campaign now leave before I punch your nose to Mars.”

The guy smiled, huffing a little in disbelief. He pointed his finger at Michael accusingly. “I’ve seen you around, you’re those two little shit’s son.”

“My mothers’ are wonderful people, thank you very much.”

He took a swing and latched onto Michael’s hoodie, a few of the remaining strands of the hoodie breaking.

“The small immigrant one owes me money and hasn’t paid up. I thought ya’ll left town but now that I know-”

Michael reached up and slapped him, stumbling away from his grip. The second he looked up, pissed as hell from being slapped, Michael punched him in the same spot. He didn’t waste a single second, yelling at Jeremy to get in the car. He got into the passenger and the two sped off. Jeremy reached the road and started to go the speed limit.

Michael, out of the seatbelt and staring out the back window, was completely calm compared to the other. Jeremy was sweating buckets as he drove.

“Fuck-”

Jeremy’s eyes went wide and he glanced over to Michael. “What?”

Michael looked back and surveyed the road in front of them. “Hit it-”

“WHAT?!”

“HIT THE GAS BEFORE WE GET RAMMED, JEREMY!”

The car sped up dangerously. The streets were cluttered, going deeper into the mess. Michael was ashamed to even mention that he knew where every single road led and where not to be at certain times of the day. Right now, in whatever fancy ass car he was in, anywhere was a bad idea. They stuck out like a sore thumb.

“We need to get to the highway.” Michael explained, fumbling to turn down the stereo. “And get your license plate changed and a new car.”

“I thought we were going to Walgreens and now we’re being chased?!”

He sighed, pointed to an upcoming intersection. “You’re such a rich boy.”

“Yeah! And your point is?” Jeremy glanced over, stopping at the intersection.

Luckily for them, the guy chasing them thought it was a good idea to get out of the car and try to approach the driver’s seat. Jeremy started to panic even more, visibly sweating and Michael put his hand on his shoulder. The man had a bat in hand and right before he got ready to swing, he yelled.

“Go!”

And Jeremy pressed his foot down so hard he almost missed the turn. They sped off into the night. Michael left his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. Eventually, they got far enough where Michael let him go anywhere near the speed limit.

“Fucking hell, he was not a happy camper.” He commented, finally sitting down fully and putting his seat belt on.

“Y-You think?” Jeremy was jerky with his movements, his arms visibly shaking and his knuckles white. “He-He looked like he wanted to murder u-us!”

“He would have tried to.”

“How are you so calm?” Michael held onto his shoulder again, holding it more firmly than earlier. “You punched him like no ones business!”

“Well, it was my business and he deserved it.” He leaned back in his seat. “Plus, he was totally bullshitting about my mom owing him money. He must have thought you were some charity kid.”

“Charity kid?”

Michael glanced back at the rear windshield before explaining. “One of those upper class kids that are friends with the poor kids and financially support them."

“What?”

“The same age, high school version of a safe for work sugar daddy.” He smiled and Jeremy nodded slowly.

“C-Can we pull over before I have a heart attack?” Michael motioned to the wheel, his other hand still on Jeremy’s shoulder.

“You’re the one in control of the wheel.” He explained and Jeremy glared at him for a second.

He pulled over, getting into a spot between two older, beat up cars. His car lit up compared to the junkyard they were in front of now. That wasn’t a metaphor for the area. They are literally in front of a junkyard.

Jeremy breathed for a few seconds before turning to Michael.

“How does a charity kid work if y-”

“I lied about being middle class.” Michael admitted, leaning over him to watch the road for a few seconds before sinking back into his seat.

“Did-” Jeremy looked at him funny for a few seconds. “Did you lie about your social class?”

“Yeah.” The truth was out, why not smack him in the face with the whole thing. “I’m the lowest of lower class you can be.”

“So, you’re homel-”

“One step above that.”

“Almost homeless?”

“Sums it up pretty well.” He nodded, looking around again. He wanted to be cautious, knowing very well how angry the guy was and how they were just a moving target right now.

Jeremy bit his lip and fiddled with the hem of sleeves. He wasn’t sure what to say or how to react. He was scared that if he opened his white rich boy mouth that it’ll insult the love of his life. So instead, he stayed silent.

“Do you hate me even more now?” Michael spoke up, carefully.

“What?” Jeremy looked up to him and started to shake his head rapidly. “NO-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-”

Michael had to cover Jeremy’s mouth to make him shut up. But even then, Jeremy continued against his hand. Spit hit his hand but he kept it there, letting Jeremy get through his whole speech. It wasn’t a true speech but last time Jeremy had one, he could barely make out one word.

“-no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-”

“You don’t have to be afraid to say you hate me just because we are destined to be together.”

“-no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-”

“I mean, we can be destined to not be together but still be soulmates. That’s a thing, I think?”

“-no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-"

“Destined to not be destined, right? That’s it.”

“-no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-”

At this point, Jeremy had started crying and was probably having a full blown panic attack. He wasn’t really sure. Michael knew that he had to figure out something because he never learned how to drive. Hell, the car he rides most of the time is the metro or the train and trains don’t count as cars.

“So, I can just get out of the car and walk home. You can go back to your fantasy life and we could forget each other’s existence.”

“-no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-”

“And I can wait until that Walgreens has my shade or when I have enough money to ride the metro to another one.”

“NO!” Jeremy clung to Michael, making sure he couldn’t leave the car. “I-I want you here. I want to feel selfish for keeping you around. I never want to let you go, no matter how much you want to leave. I want to wake up every morning and look at how beautiful you are and have to remind myself that I’m the lucky guy that was paired with you.

“A-And I want to be there for those times where you’re too afraid to even look at yourself in the mirror and remind you that it doesn’t matter. That I don’t care about whatever you think is ugly about yourself because those are the parts that I love most about you. That you may want to hide it and I won’t stop you but there will be that time at the end of the day where you have to take that mask off. And then, when that happens, I will still be there to cuddle and kiss and whatever you want to do. That’ll be still there to love you all the same.”

Michael panicked. He wasn’t sure what to do anymore. Or at all. This was new territory which was never a good thing for him. Here he was, thinking that Jeremy hated his guts and here he was admitted how much he loved Michael.

He didn’t know if he could handle it.

It was all a bit of a blur, really. A messy blur at that. He pulled away from Jeremy slowly, unbuckling his seatbelt as he did. He opened the door and got out, watching Jeremy fall face first onto the passenger seat. Jeremy broke down from his crying to loud sobbing. He was shaking, worse than if he was caught naked in a blizzard. Michael couldn’t take it.

He closed the door and stuffed his hands into his pocket. It wasn’t until it had started to rain that he found out that his hood had finally died and fallen off. It was also then that he realized he left the makeup in Jeremy’s car.

The rain drenched his hair and glasses, making it a little hard to see where he was going. Lucky for him, he knew where Jeremy had parked his car. It was maybe an hour and a half walk from there to his house.

Wasn’t there some legend about the rain that came around when the ink was discovered? It was the tears of the heartbroken, welcoming two new members to their cult of sadness. Isn’t that why the rain was associated with the weeping?

Around midnight, he finally made it home. His biological mother was passed out on the couch while his other mom was at the kitchen table. She looked so relieved to see Michael alive after he was just going to Walgreens. He played it off, saying he had to go to another store to try and find what he needed but ended up not finding any of the items he needed.

He went into the bedroom, their only one. He always felt bad that his moms’ always gave him priority on bedrooms just because he was a boy and they weren’t. They always took the couches or the air mattresses. They worked non stop to put enough food on the table and he barely contributed to the income. He was a sitting duck.

His Tamagotchi he dug out of some dumpster probably thinks the same way.

The next day, Michael barely had enough product to be close to presentable. His face was a little patchy but it wasn’t noticeable unless you were so close you were basically kissing him. Maybe a little further, he didn’t really know. He couldn’t tell. His eyesight was shit. Continuing on from last night, another thing his moms keep up on like it’s nothing.

The noticeable dent in tension only filled with guilt. Jeremy wasn’t there all day, probably because of him. The guilt only grew through the whole day.

Lunch was uninteresting. Rich ran into him in the bathroom again but no matter what Rich said or asked, Michael couldn’t bring himself to talk. It eventually drove Rich insane and prompted him to leave finally.

If he didn’t fuck it up on Friday, he definitely fucked it up last night.

He walked home, deciding that school was enough social interaction for one day. The metro would only make it a worse day. Both of his moms weren’t home, still at work for the day.

He pulled out a old cardboard box from the closet. It held paper shreds of all the things that Jeremy had told him over the years. It was almost the important things or even the littlest of things. He didn’t know what he was looking for but it sure was something.

That’s when he pulled out a piece on the pink parchment from one of the many hotels they spent endless nights in. Back when they were officially homeless for a while. But in his mind, it started to piece together what he wanted to do. He had enough money for the metro, it just meant that he wouldn’t buy makeup for another week or two.

It took Michael a couple hours before he had enough energy to get out of their trailer and head out. He walked straight to the closest bus stop. He’d take it to the bus station and he’d find the map. On that map, he would find the closest bus stop to where Jeremy lived and walk the rest of the way.

The journey was maybe a good three hours. It was an interesting trip, uneventful but interesting as every bus ride is. There’s always those few weirdos and Michael can barely recognize who they are anymore because he is one of them. It’s an amazing phenomenon.

When Jeremy said his dad was a lawyer and that they were upper class, he was not expecting a house bigger than their entire trailer park. What was even the point of having a house so big? Wasn’t it just Jeremy and his dad?

The big gates out front intimidated him greatly. His hand hovered over the call button for minutes until gravity pulled his hand away, tracing over the button. He hesitated for a second, thinking that it called in but it didn’t. He was lucky but he would have greatly prefered if it called because he wouldn’t be able to do it himself.

Eventually he did. He pressed it hard and took in a deep breath. What he wasn’t expecting was a loud sob and a cracky voice answering.

“Hello?”

Jeremy.

“Hi.”

Silence on both ends. Michael was sure that Jeremy was going to end the call now and never let him close to the house. But that’s not what happened. Instead, Jeremy spoke up.

“M-Michael?”

“That’s the name my moms gave me. It’s got that hint of both Asian and European esque to it.” He frowned, biting his lip a little. God, this was going terrible already.

“H-How’d you k-know where I liv-ved?"

This one was going to be dead honest and Michael knew it could make or break whatever plan he had. Yeah, that plan he is going through with that he doesn’t have.

“You told me a long time ago and I wrote it down. I’m glad that you’ve never moved.”

“O-Oh.”

More silence.

“Why-” Jeremy cleared his throat on the other end after his voice cracked. “Why did you c-come here?”

“B-” He took a deep breath. “Because I’m a fucking idiot.”

“What d-do you mean?”

“I left you alone last night and I basically did that same thing on Friday.” He took another deep breath. “A-And I’ve realized that it isn’t you who hates me and you’re not the one pushing me away. I’m the one is pushing you away.”

“W-”

“And I don’t want it to be like that.” He interrupted. “Because I fucking love you and you deserve so much fucking more than my shit but we’re stuck together and if we hate each other so be it.”

“I-I don’t want to h-hate you.”

“Jeremy, I fucking love you and I don’t want that either.” He paused, trying to piece his thoughts into words. “I was scared last night. Of myself and that I was so scared that I was going to ruin it before it even begun. But what I did was make it even more of a mess.”

Jeremy’s side was silent.

“I don’t want my stupidity to ruin this! It’s not everyday you meet your soulmate and I want that fairytale ending. I want us to be happy and clingy to ea-”

Michael was startled by the gate opening mechanically. The call was shut and he turned slightly just in time to be pulled into a kiss. Jeremy’s eyes were sewn shut, holding onto his jacket like there was no tomorrow, and pressing his lips against Michael’s. It took a second before Michael melted into the pressure, happily kissing back. The both pulled back at the same time for air, pressing their foreheads together.

“W-Why-” He sniffled, holding back his running nose. “Why are you here s-so late?”

Michael couldn’t even respond before Jeremy went off again.

“I-I mean, not the be m-mean about it. I appreci-iate that you’re here and I-I don’t want you to-”

Michael cut the other off by connecting their lips again. Jeremy didn’t fight it, gladly kissing back.

“D-” He pulled away for air again. “Do you want t-to come inside? It’s only mid-October but i-it’s still fairly cold.”

Michael nodded a little, gladly following Jeremy inside.

“S-Sorry, it took a lot of courage to leave the park and it was a fairly long way here.” He explained, amazed by Jeremy’s courtyard alone.

“Do the buses e-even run this late?” Jeremy turned back to look up at him.

“I think I was on the last one of the night.”

Jeremy nodded gently, taking in a deep, shaky breath. “I-I can take you home after we talk or something? I w-wouldn’t mind. Plus, you kind o-of left things with me t-that were yours and I-I didn’t know if you wanted me to k-keep them or not.”

“I could text my mom and maybe spend the night? I-no nevermind that thought it kind of rude and selfish-”

“Shoot away.”

“I don’t want to leave your side.”

Jeremy giggled, pulling at Michael’s heart strings. He couldn’t help but smile.

“My dad can’t know you’re here, then. He’s convinced e-everyone is out to get me and ever since Friday, he hasn’t had the-e best impression of you.”

He nodded, following him inside and being sure to be extra quiet. “I-It’s fine.” He mumbled over a whisper. “At least you can sneak around in your house. Our front door creaks and even wakes our neighbors.”

“Ah.” Jeremy smiled, not really understanding it but he did at the same time.

Michael pulled out his phone and quietly started to call one of his moms. The other looked at him weird for not texting until he realized how outdated his phone was. He bit his lip, feeling like he was too much with his newest apple devices.

“Hey mom.” He spoke just above a whisper, sure to hold it close to his mouth so it would pick it up. “I’m going to spend the night at a friends. I’ll see you in the morning?” He shrugged a little, not sure what else to add. “Love you, Michael.”

Just in time for it to be fully recorded, making Michael smile. He didn’t want to risk having to record the message over. That would have been a little much, especially if his voice wouldn’t pick up.

Jeremy led him through the house, which he was glad for. This was approaching a good portion of the size of the high school. There was no way he would have found his way around without the other boy. How did he even live in a place like this?

“Welcome to my room.” He motioned to a door, opening it up and letting Michael into his room.

The whole thing was just bigger than his trailer. The ground was covered in tissues and various chip bags and soda bottles. The television was connected to a collection of different consoles but most noticeably older ones. The cabinets in the stand were filled with different games for each console.

“Nice place.” Michael spoke, making room so Jeremy could come in with him. Jeremy had his arms over his chest, crossed and closed off.

“D-Does being here make you uncomfortable?” Jeremy asked carefully, looking around and chewing his bottom lip.

“No. Why would I?”

“Oh, well.” He motioned around the room. “My room is something out of a dream.”

“Indeed.” Michael nodded, slowly taking a seat on Jeremy’s bed. The blankets were all over the place, as long with the pillows. “Why don’t you go to a private school if you're such an upper class guy.”

“I tried. Everyone was always fighting over who had more money and all that.” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck. “I have three friends at Middleborough, not including you, and none of them really know about all of this.”

Michael nodded, patting the spot on the bed next to him. Jeremy hesitated before sitting down next to him.

“So your parents are..?” He waited for Jeremy to finish his sentence.

“My dad is a popular lawyer.” Jeremy smiled a little. “Paul Heere.”

“Who?"

Jeremy giggled, losing a little bit of tension. “It feels good not to have someone recognize him by his name.”

“Really?” He smiled, leaning towards Jeremy. “I guess it would be? I’ve never had that feeling before.”

“It’s kind of like that feeling when someone remembers your name and you didn’t think they would.” Jeremy explained, still a little anxious.

“I don’t think I’ve had that feeling either?”

Their hands were inches apart, just like you would see in the movies. If one of them dared to move a finger, surely it would hit the others. That would either lead to another awkward encounter with side effects of sweating, anxiety, possible nausea, and even more sweating. Any other possible outcomes? They hold hands and gush over their gay ass feelings for each other.

“How have y-you not?”

“Usually I get recognized as the dalmatian kid.” Jeremy looked over, completely disgusted and Michael just nodded. He still had his makeup on from the school day but it wasn’t applied the best.

“They’re terrible people.” Michael furrowed his eyebrows, making eye contact with the other. “They don’t deserve you if they call you names like that.”

He looked away, mentally cursing for not staring at Jeremy longer. He fiddled with the hem of his jacket carefully.

“I’ve gotten used to the names.” It sounded like the truth but he knew that deep down, it wasn’t. Jeremy seemed to pick up on that.

Jeremy grabbed his hand away from his sleeve and held it. “That doesn’t mean they still don’t affect you.”

“J-"

“And I want you to know that you aren’t any of those bad names or taunts. You are beautiful.” He cupped Michael’s face with his other hand, bringing it to face him. “No matter what they say.”

Michael squinted, recognizing those lines from his moms’ old stereo. They’d always play mixtapes they made each other in high school. It was adorable, really. He always wished he could do that with Jeremy but he didn’t know if Jeremy liked music or mixtapes. Knowing what he did about Jeremy, he would keep it and cherish it even if he didn’t like it.

“I-Is that-”

“Christina Aguilera? Yeah.” Jeremy looked away, holding his breath and waiting to be judged.

“You have the same music taste as my moms.”

“OH-”

Michael started to giggle, moving to try and having Jeremy look back at him.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Michael spoke quietly, trying to calm Jeremy down before anything drastic happened. “I grew up on stuff like that.”

“M-Me too.” His words were smaller than Michael’s in every way. How long they were said and how quietly. His tone was the smallest, low and sad. “My mom loved it, according to my dad.”

Michael hesitated before speaking up. “Did your mom die?”

“I don’t know.” Jeremy leaned against him, intertwining their fingers without a second thought. “They met, fell in love after one date and had sex that night. She disappeared and nine months later, she dropped me off on his porch.”

His heart dropped, suddenly realizing why Jeremy was so scared for Michael to leave him. Of course, everyone was scared but Jeremy never knew his mom. His mom didn’t want anything to do with his life. He grew up, hearing this story about how his mother abandoned him and his father. He didn’t want the same fate.

“Jeremy.” Michael meant it as a question but it wouldn’t come out like he wanted.

“Y-Yeah?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

-

“Are you sure you’re okay with me picking you up at your house?”

Michael giggled at the words written on his arm. He had just taken his shirt off to start changing into his suit. He hated how he didn’t know how his moms paid for it. He was scared, really, that they had to go through some loan shark. What he didn’t know is that Jeremy’s dad had rented it for him.

“You’ll have to park outside and walk to my house.” He wrote carefully, twisting his letters between plenty of other messages. He smiled, waking up to a good morning one from Jeremy every morning was one of the many new habits they had. It started the night he went to Jeremy’s house.

That night, one thing eventually led to another. Not only did both of them have their first kiss, standing outside Jeremy’s front gate, but they lost their privilege of innocence. In other words, they had some dirty sex and neither of them can consider themselves virgins anymore. To make it even better, neither of their parents knew. Or they did and haven’t said a word.

That morning, Jeremy woke up first. He made Michael breakfast despite being seriously sore and brought it up to him. When Michael finally emerged, maybe ten in the morning, they both decided that school wasn’t for them that day. The first thing Michael noticed? Jeremy writing good morning on his own arm for Michael to see.

His heart throbbed in joy. Even the littlest things that Jeremy wanted to do to show his love made him love him even more.

But, tonight wasn’t just their night. Michael didn’t understand the concept of what Homecoming was until Jeremy had to simplify it down to school dance. From what it sounded like, it was everyone who had found their soulmate dancing and being happy while everyone else watched.

Michael finished putting on his suit and looked in the only mirror in their house. It was new, seeing as he smashed the other to pieces. Again, he wasn’t sure how they got the money to buy it and was a little scared about how his moms paid for it.

His biological mom came out, shorter than him. She never talked about who his biological dad was, just that he was a close friend from the Philippines. She grabbed at his sleeve, bringing him down to her level. She was the embodiment of the small, strong, and strict Asian mother stereotype. He loved her to death.

There was a hesitant knock at their screen door, his other mom racing over to open it. Michael made eye contact with Jeremy, still leaned down so his mother could do his tie. He smiled at Jeremy. The other boy took a few microseconds to realize what was going on and giggled once he did.

Michael’s mom ushered him inside, giving him a seat on the couch. He looked around, smiling a little. Michael felt a little awkward, knowing that Jeremy’s room was bigger than what they had. When his bedroom door was open and the bathroom door open, you could see the whole length of their trailer. That happened to be the case.

His biological mom let him go, making him immediately stand up to his full height. She pulled him right down again, adjusting the tie again. Jeremy giggled a little more, watching them interacting. Michael turned his head slightly to fake a mad glare at him. They both laughed it off until his mom finally decided that his tie was perfect.

He turned to Jeremy and held out his hand, his hair slicked back and showing off some of his white hair. His makeup was gone from his face, only showing the beautiful mixture of dark and light. No longer a battle but allied as one.

“Ready?” Michael smiled as Jeremy took his hand, gladly using his help to get up.

“What about your face?” He asked cautiously, pulling him in for a kiss. “We’re going out to a dance with people from our school.”

“My skin isn’t their skin.” Michael smiled against his lips. “They can’t change it. No one can.”


End file.
